


That's not how it happened.

by draaagon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:30:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draaagon/pseuds/draaagon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean tells the story of how Marco didn't die, (though he didn't know the real reason for that until much later.)</p>
<p>It's really just Jean being Jean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's not how it happened.

It's such a terrible nightmare that Jean is almost afraid to share it. Seeing Marco's split, rotten corpse staring back at him, the way his skin was turned ashen by the days left out in the sun... It seemed so real.

"It's not. I'm right here. You know that's impossible."

Jean knows that but it still feels wrong. The dream felt right until it didn't. Maybe this was a dream too.

"Trost was almost ten years ago."

Jean knows that too. He's grateful for every day he's lived since then, for every day he's had Marco by his side. They're older now and the threats seem smaller with Marco by his his side. But that day at Trost, Jean was sure he'd lost him. After spending two days on cleanup with no sign of him, he was almost expecting to see Marcos corpse turn up among the bodies.

It didn't. They found Marco laying unconscious on the roof of a building, surrounded by the remains of dead titans. Whatever had happened, he had been very lucky. His 3DMG was gone and the clothes on his right side were torn, but there was no sign of injury past a lot of caked blood. Marco claimed he couldnt remember any of it, and that was enough. A few days later, when he awoke in the infirmary with Jean by his side, Marco smiled so widely that Jean was sure he couldn't stray from his side ever again.

Which was typical, considering what happened next.

When Marco decided he wanted to join the Scouting Legion, Jean was sure he'd lose his best friend. They both knew the risks, now more than ever, but they both knew the truth as well. After what they saw at Trost, neither of them could go back to living like each day _wasn't_ a blessing.

Of course, with Marco switching divisions, no one would think it strange if Jean did too. It saved Jean a lot of trouble, even if he still got plenty of flak from Connie and Reiner.

"I look better in blue than green, anyway." Jean says, and Marco laughs.

That was probably his favorite comeback. Sure, it backfired plenty of times, but even when it did, it would make Marco laugh, so Jean was okay with it. Making Marco laugh was one of his favorite things to do.

"You knew then? When were you planning on telling me?"

He's getting to that, what's the rush? But yeah, it was around that time that Jean realized his feelings for Marco probably went a little past friendship and went straight into cheesy, 'I want to kiss you and hold your hand' romance. Jean had never felt this way about a guy before. It scared him, so he didn't say anything, that idiot, until he went and remembered how easily he could lose everything, again.

That's why after the mission with the female Titan-- with _Annie_ \-- Jean was totally sure that he was in love with Marco. They had been in different squads, a fact that didn't really bother Jean so much at the time. He trusted Marco. They'd both been training. This was just a routine run.

But as the female Titan came close to them, as he threw off his sense of self-preservation and crafted a plan that would most likely kill him, (it didn't,) Jean realized again just how fleeting his life was. Sure, he wouldn't mind dying if it saved his friends and helped the Scouting Legion, but when he looked at his life and his regrets, not telling Marco how he felt was pretty high up on the list. Dying a virgin was another one.

"You're such a pig."

"I was fifteen! You mean to tell me _you_ weren't thinking about it?"

Marco laughs, pinching Jean's thigh. It's as good as an admission.

"Keep going."

Anyway, later Jean found out that Marco was the only survivor in his squad, a fact Jean wouldn't learn until later. But as soon as they were heading back and Jean saw Marco wincing on his horse, he ran up to him, looking very cool and very handsome.

"You were a haggard mess, don't lie about it now, you were doing so well!"

"Yeah well I was about to spill a huge secret! What I... thought was a huge secret. I was nervous!! Then you had to go and have a bigger one, how was I supposed to know?"

Marco chuckles. "Just go on."

Jean rode up beside Marco on his horse. He knew it wasn't the time for it, but he was so wired from surviving the chase with the female titan that he had to do it. He had to tell Marco how he felt.

"It was cute, you know. I still remember what you said."

"Sh-shut up, no you don't."

"Nono, what was it...? _'Hey Marco, I like you and I really want to kiss you but it'd be hard and awkward on a horse, so when we get back, could we maybe...?'_ Is that what you said?"

"It's not like I remember the exact words."

"You totally do."

"Okay, I totally do. Can I continue?"

Marco laughs again and wraps his arms tight around Jean and Jean's sure that the warmth of it could melt him into a gross, mushy puddle. "Go ahead," Marco says. Jean does.

After Jean's _heartfelt_ confession, the two wound up not having much time to chat about their feelings or where they stood. They blushed furiously for most of the ride home, but the welcome back into the walls was enough of a downer that they spent most of the night going over tactics and battle plans and talking to Eren more than anything else. Meanwhile, Armin and the others were already were hatching a plan...

"Y'know, I can stop at any time. You don't have to keep listening to me, Marco."

"It's fine. I like listening to you tell it like a story. You make me sound so cool."

"Yeah, but this was before you even--"

"Shhh, we haven't gotten to that part yet."

"Fine, fine," Jean yawns. Marco was totally into this more than he was. "I'm tired. Can this wait to finish it some other night?"

"Of course. Another night. We'll start with the part where you impersonated Eren?"

"Man, you know I hated that, don't remind me."

Marco laughs, his strong arms pulling Jean flush against his chest. Yeah, Jean is the little spoon, is anyone surprised?

"Tomorrow, then?" Marco asks, reaching down to brush his lips on Jean's ear. Jean yawns his response, but it sounds a lot like 'sure.' He snuggles further into Marco's neck and mumbles goodnight, closing his eyes.

"Hey, Jean?" Marco whispers, like they're back in the barracks sneaking around and they don't have their own room in the Scouting Legion. "If you get far enough tomorrow, you can tell me how you reacted to me being a Titan, right?"

But Jean is already fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> My internet was out and that made me sad, so I wrote this to make myself feel better. 
> 
> I mean, Marco's death is great in its terribleness and I love it a lot for what it does to Jean's character, but I also totally suck at writing angst, so this thing came out instead. Dunno if I'll write a second part, but being that this is my first real Ao3 fic, I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
